About 20 years ago I travelled to Boston on a weeklong trip to be with my mother. As it turns out she was there for close to a month as my grandmother was getting treated for cancer. Prior to my arrival, my uncle had been had been in Boston helping out. Apparently, he needed to head back to NY as per orders from his boss.
At the time, I was about 18 years old finishing my freshman year at college. Naturally, I did not know what to expect. Much of what happened 20 years ago I have long forgotten. During this week, my mom and I visited my grandmother in the hospital everyday. In an effort to keep kosher in Boston we were rather inventive; lots of tuna cans, cereal, and anything with a kosher symbol. Every night at 2 AM my mom and I watched some awful comedy show. I honestly don’t remember what it was. I do remember it was the same awful show we watched in NY. We also watched old Star Trek reruns and make fun of the terrible acting. More importantly, we had many deep conversations about the future, life, and so on.
Unbeknownst to me, my mom had been fighting cancer for close to 5 years at that time. In fact, while I was helping my grandmother in one room, my mom was getting treatment elsewhere in the hospital. I would not learn about this until 6 days prior to her death. Many people have found this bit of information shocking. They ask me, “are you angry that your mother hid this from you?” I have always said no. At the time, I was the oldest of 4 brothers in my family; with my youngest brother being 12 at the time. My mom did not want our childhood to be burdened in anyway. She said, “Why make them suffer now?” When I think of what she sacrificed I am awed by her selflessness and bravery. She was always concerned about everyone else’s welfare first.
As I look back at this and other events, I am thankful to have known my mom for 18 years and for those 2 AM conversations. There is no question in my mind that a very deep bond was developed at that ungodly hour. Of course, there are many other things I recall about my mom; too numerous to mention here.
Who could forget her relentless drive to assure that her children were successful in their endeavors? There are so many examples of this. For starters, she was a tough woman with unlimited passion for her children. She would never let anyone mess with her children and did not tolerate it from inept administrators; or anyone. With every once of energy, she was the unstoppable warrior fighting for her children and anyone under her care. This includes the many patients she was responsible for over a 20-year medical career. In fact, till this day patients treated by her and doctors that worked with her speak of her work ethic, ingenuity, and kindness. I believe this is why she did not want us to know of her illness a she truly feared it would jeopardize our future in school and in life. Subsequently, she never complained to her children about her pain and suffered in silence.
Over the past few months my youngest child has vastly improved his vocabulary and has achieved a few other milestones. My wife said to me, “I was really afraid that he never would achieve this.” I thought to myself, “Thank You mom for giving me that relentless drive making sure that I never give up on anything or anyone. Thank you for those 2 AM conversations. Thank you for believing in us and Happy Birthday Mom.” May you continue to give us everlasting strength. I know you are enjoying the antics that your grandchildren are so famous for and are rooting for them.
No comments:
Post a Comment